Friday, May 31, 2013

There's a lot to like about Lowell.....Cemetery Edition!

Today I went on a tour of Lowell Cemetery. I'm just going to assume that any of you who know me will not have any questions about why this is something I would be doing.

Back when we lived in our old apartment, we used to walk there fairly often. I've also been there before with some of our visiting teachers to talk about Lowell history. There are a few fairly significant stones that are always great for teaching Lowell history. My favorite story of all of them is that of Louisa Maria Wells



This is the marker for Louisa Maria Wells, who died in 1886. She had worked in the mills in Lowell, and also brought her mother to Lowell to run a boarding house. She was an only child, her parents had died before her, and she was unmarried and had no children of her own. When she died, a sum of $8,000 remained in her estate and her will directed all of it to be used to erect a monument on her grave. But Wells’ remaining cousins contested the will, objecting to the considerable fortune being used for a grave marker for an unremarkable woman. The case dragged on in the courts for twenty years, at the end of which, the courts sided with Louisa. And in a positive turn to this sad tale, the money had been well invested and by 1906, when the matter was settled, the executor of the will was able to use the funds to commission Daniel Chester French – the American sculptor you likely know as the creator of the seated Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial -- to create the gravestone. French himself did not complete the work; instead, he passed the project on to one of his female associates, Evelyn Longman, who would also eventually go on to create a monument in 1912 for the grave site of the 146 women killed in the fire at the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire. So many stories there, all tied up in this gorgeous, humongous marker. That's an angel standing above a mill worker -- the crouching woman is wearing a smock and holds a bobbin in her hand. It's about 15 feet tall and in a lovely spot. She was one of thousands of girls who came to the Lowell mills and worked in some fairly harsh conditions to make a better life. It's a beautiful memorial.

There are so many beautiful monuments in this cemetery, and so many stories, too.

I'm rather fond of the markers that are made in an over-the-top naturalistic style, like the ones that look like trees that have been cut down:



This one is particularly sad, since Edwin and Alonzo were each just one year old.

Then there are ones meant to look like piles of rocks:



A couple weeks ago we took Lucy and walked around there. Again, you know that's totally normal.

It's a really gorgeous place to walk, and Lucy was especially excited about the giant field of dandelions:



But she really liked looking at the stones and kept asking me to take her picture with them. Like this:




And she delightedly asked me to take a photo with these two, who she deemed "The Spiderweb Twins!"



I expect I will have to write a story about them.

Also, I am totally bringing back the name "Mehitable." Oh, and "Ballard." (see below)



In fact, I will go ahead and tell you that you should look for the Lucy-Bridget co-written book series of The Spiderweb Twins, featuring Mehitable and Ballard and their wacky adventures. Maybe we should put up the kickstarter on that now?

One of the most famous monuments is the Ayer Lion:



Lucy liked him a lot:



But for the most totally out there monument, I think I have to place my vote for this one:



Horace F. Ebert (1853 - 1893), I like your style!

That's it for today's installment, but I'll give you a little teaser for next week. Do you remember how last year, I spent a week in the nineteenth century? Well, it's not a whole week this time, but I'm going for the day to work at the American Antiquarian Society library on Monday. I will bring back some good stories, I promise.
 


Tuesday, May 28, 2013

My New Business Venture (part I in a new series for summer)

Since it's finally summer and I have nothing else to do, I've decided to start a new business.  My new business consultancy (name TBA) will offer the following services:

1) I will tell you whether your business idea is a good one or not.  For instance, if you want to open a large, spacious storefront in downtown Northampton that sells only rice pudding, I will tell you not to do that.  There are apparently *a lot* of people who need this service.  Seriously.  It is much, much cheaper to pay me a nominal fee (fee to be negotiated) than to open that rice pudding store, or the fifteenth frozen yogurt shop in Lowell.  I will be totally, brutally honest.  And absolutely correct.

2) I will tell you if your business name is acceptable or not.  I will do appropriate market research and assessment to make sure that your name will not embarrass you, your employees, or your customers.  As with service #1 above, there are clearly *a lot* of businesses that need this service.  For instance, here are some names of actual businesses around here.  I want to stress that I did NOT make them up (nor was I consulted regarding them, obviously):

Actual Sample (not made up):
Live 'n' Learn Family Childcare

Advice I would have given:
While I agree that living and learning are both positive activities that all parents hope their child will be doing while in daycare and at home, this is setting the bar rather low.  In addition, our sources indicate that this phrase conveys a negative sense; for instance, when you regret having sent your child to a particular daycare center, you might say to another parent, "Well, live and learn: I guess next time we'll do a criminal background check!"

Actual Sample (not made up):
Kids 'n' Cribs Daycare

Advice I would have given:
While I do indeed expect to find kids as well as cribs at a daycare center, I would hope that there is more.  This name immediately makes me think that you are putting my child directly into a crib upon arrival, and that he/she will stay there until my eventual return at the end of the day.  This might work better for animal boarding, but parents of human children are expecting more than just a crib.  (Note: parents of furry pets are also often seeking more, too.)

Actual Sample (not made up):
Funtagious Fun Center

Advice I would have given:

This is a real place in the next town up from us, and I have never been inside.  But every time I pass the sign for the place, all I can imagine is one of those giant ball pits that kids play in, and when I imagine one of those giant ball pits, the last thing I want to think about is all the contagious diseases that are lurking in those ball pits.  Truthfully, I cannot think of any business that really wants to be associated with contagious disease (except maybe the CDC) but a "fun center" is really a bad choice.  I don't even know if this place has one of those ball pits -- I think it's more of an arcade kind of place.  But why, oh why, must the fun be contagious?  Like pink eye.  And leprosy.  Not a big selling point.

So there are actually several basic rules that are essential to the naming of your business.  It's not that hard. Actually, there's pretty much one main rule with several corollaries:

1) Do not fool around with spelling.  Random assortments of letters do not make words.  Your creative spelling is not appreciated, nor warranted.   More specifically, here are the corollaries:

1a) Do not use olden spellings.  Ye Olde Watering Hole, I'm looking at you.  Your "shoppee" is just a "shop."  Ye do not need extra "E"s at the endes of your wordes.  I sweare.

Exceptions: If your business has been in operation since the time before spelling, or if you actually sell products from the time before spelling, or if your business is actively involved in Ren-Faire-y sorts of things, then there is an exception.  Please provide appropriate documentation of such claims.

1b) Do not substitute "K" for "C."  Ever.  Kustom Kuts, Kopy Kat, I'm looking at you.  These are unreasonable and will only serve to enrage me.  You are not being cute/kute.  You're just being a cretin/kretin.

1c) Do not use text-speak spelling in your business name.  I know you think it's all hip with the kids.  It just looks dumb.  Your business name is not a text message.  LOL.

Stay tuned for more updates and refinements.  And if you have a business idea for which you need a consultant, please do get in touch!
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P.S. This is my first post in a while.  A few people have reminded me that I need to update the blog more often, and perhaps with less heavy stuff than that April update.  I'd like to write more in general this summer, so I'm saying, right here officially on the blog, that I plan to do more regular updates here for the summer.  I have a ton of "Conversations with Lucy" to get up here, and a few book reviews.  And no doubt more services to add to my business.  Stay tuned, and Happy Summer!